Your Free Allyship Conversation Starter Kit
The country is in freefall.
And if you're a white woman sitting at Thanksgiving dinner, nodding politely while your uncle spews racist bullshit, you're part of the problem.
I said what I said.
Look, I get it. Confrontation is uncomfortable. You don't want to "make it awkward." You don't want to be that personwho "ruins dinner" or "makes everything political."
But here's what you need to understand: Your comfort is not more important than our survival.
While you're sitting there silent, calculating whether it's "worth it" to speak up, Black women are losing their jobs. Black families are losing generational wealth. Black children are watching their parents stress about whether they can afford groceries next month because their federal job was eliminated in the name of "efficiency."
The revolution isn't polite. And it sure as hell isn't quiet.
The Myth of the "Good White Woman"
You think you're a good person. You voted for the right candidate. You posted a black square in 2020. You have Black friends. You care.
Cool story.
But caring without action is just performance. And performance without risk is just... nothing.
The uncomfortable truth is this: If you're not actively disrupting racism when it shows up in your spaces, you're actively enabling it.
That dinner table comment? You let it slide.
That "culture fit" excuse in the hiring meeting? You stayed quiet.
That "All Lives Matter" bullshit from your yoga instructor? You nodded and moved on.
Every. Single. Time. You. Said. Nothing.
And I know why. Because nobody taught you how to speak up. Nobody gave you the words. Nobody showed you what comes after "actually, that's racist."
So you freeze. You fumble. You change the subject. You tell yourself you'll "bring it up later" when there's a "better time."
Spoiler alert: There's never a better time. And later never comes.
This Is Your Activation Moment
Listen, I'm not here to shame you into paralysis. I'm here to arm you with exactly what you need to stop being complicit and start being an ally.
Because here's the thing about this resistance era we're living in: White women have proximity to power that most of us will never have.
You're in rooms we're not in. You're at tables we're not at. You're in families, workplaces, and social circles where racism shows up wearing a cardigan and calling itself "just asking questions."
You have access. You have influence. You have the ability to interrupt harm in real time.
The question is: Are you going to use it?
Introducing: The Allyship Conversation Starter Kit
I created this resource because I'm tired of watching white women with good intentions fumble their way through performative allyship while the rest of us carry the weight of actually fighting for liberation.
This isn't theory. This isn't academic. This isn't "10 tips to be less racist."
This is a field guide for the resistance.
Inside this free download, you'll get:
9 Real-Life Scenarios. 9 Exact Scripts. Zero Excuses.
At Home:
What to say when your family member drops a racist comment at dinner
How to respond when someone hits you with "both sides" nonsense
The exact words to use when they pull out "not all white people"
At Work:
How to call out the "you're so articulate" microaggression without getting HR involved
What to do when "culture fit" becomes code for "not white enough"
How to disrupt diversity theater when you see it happening
With Friends:
The script for when someone says "I don't see color"
What to say when they disguise racism as a "joke"
How to shut down "All Lives Matter" once and for all
Plus: What to Do When You Freeze
Because let's be real—you're going to freeze sometimes. Your heart will race. Your palms will sweat. Your brain will go blank.
That's normal. That's human. That's what happens when you're doing something that actually matters.
So I'm giving you a backup plan. A way to recover when you fumble. Because the goal isn't perfection—it's persistence.
Why This Matters Right Now
We're watching a systematic dismantling of progress in real time.
DEI initiatives? Gutted.
Federal workers—disproportionately Black women? Fired.
Protections for marginalized communities? Eliminated.
This isn't abstract policy. This is people's lives.
Middle-class Black women with degrees, with decades of experience, with families to feed—they're showing up at food banks for the first time in their lives because their government jobs vanished overnight.
Generational wealth that took generations to build? Being wiped out in months.
And while all this is happening, white women are still asking "but what can I do?"
This. You can do this.
You can stop letting racism slide in your spaces. You can use your voice. You can leverage your proximity to power. You can make it so uncomfortable to be racist in your presence that people think twice before opening their mouths.
Will it be awkward? Yes.
Will some people get mad at you? Absolutely.
Will you lose some friends? Probably.
But will you finally be able to look yourself in the mirror and know you're actually doing something that matters?
Also yes.
The Cost of Your Comfort
Here's what I need you to understand: Every time you choose comfort over confrontation, someone pays the price.
And it's never you.
It's the Black woman who didn't get the job because of "culture fit."
It's the Black family sitting at the dinner table trying to figure out how to make rent because one parent got laid off.
It's the Black child watching their parents stress about money in ways they never had to before.
It's us. We pay the price for your silence.
So the question isn't "should I speak up?"
The question is: "What kind of person do I want to be in this moment?"
Do you want to be the white woman who let it slide? Who stayed comfortable? Who preserved the peace at the expense of justice?
Or do you want to be the white woman who stood up? Who spoke out? Who made it clear that racism isn't welcome in your space—even when it's uncomfortable?
Because I promise you—the discomfort you feel in calling out racism is nothing compared to the violence of living under it every single day.
Your Next Move
Download the Allyship Conversation Starter Kit. Print it out. Keep it on your phone. Memorize the scripts if you need to.
And then use them.
The next time your coworker says something slick in a meeting—use the script.
The next time your family member drops a racist comment at dinner—use the script.
The next time your friend disguises bigotry as "just having an opinion"—use the script.
Because we're in the middle of a resistance era. And resistances require more than good intentions.
They require action. They require courage. They require white women like you to finally stop watching from the sidelines and get in the game.
So here's your playbook. Here's your activation guide. Here's everything you need to stop being a bystander and start being an ally.
The only question left is: Are you going to use it?
Inside you'll get:
✅ 9 scenarios with exact scripts
✅ What to say when they push back
✅ How to recover when you freeze
✅ Next steps to keep going
No fluff. No theory. Just practical tools you can use today.
Enter your email below and I'll send it straight to your inbox. Because the revolution isn't going to wait for you to get comfortable.
P.S. If you're thinking "I don't know if I can do this"—that's fear talking. And I get it. But here's the truth: Black women have been doing the hard, scary, uncomfortable work of fighting for liberation for centuries. We didn't have a choice.
You do.
So what are you going to choose?
P.P.S. After you download the kit, join me for my next workshop: Allyship & Activism in the Resistance Era. We're going deeper than scripts—we're building a movement.
Ardenia Gould is a leadership consultant, allyship educator, and the founder of Ask Ardenia. She teaches white women how to move beyond performative allyship and into active resistance. Follow her on Instagram and Threads @askardenia.
